When My Lover Tells Me Lies
by FemmeDraconis
Summary: The greatest lies you tell are to those you love. DG


_Author's Notes_: This story popped up in my head when I was lying in bed. It's going to be a one-shot, and I won't continue it. In my bio, I said that I wouldn't write an angst fic because I doubted that I would do well, but here I am deciding to try my hand at it. Like they say, 'never say never.' Ginny is in her sixth year, and the Trio, and Draco are in their seventh. All reviews are welcome, even flames, although constructive ones are absolutely better. So read, review, and enjoy!

_Disclaimer_: I own none of the characters in this fic. They all belong to J.K. Rowling.

_When My Lover Tells Me Lies_

Had someone had been listening outside the door of our secret closet, at the end of a secret passage in a secret part of the castle; they would have heard very heavy breathing. Our deep gasps for air were punctured by scatterings of nervous mumbles, which were even more infrequent – we weren't there to talk. There were other places and times for that.

"Virginia," Draco whispered, moving back from me. However, the width of the closet was so small, and our bodies so close together that the distance between us had hardly changed. But neither of us was complaining. 

He slid down the cramped space and I followed, settling to sit in his lap while he kissed the top of my head. I was busy intertwining our fingers. We hadn't gotten to be together in close to a week. Our schedules clashed horribly, especially with his N.E.W.T.S. coming up very soon. I watched the tension seemingly melt away from him as I massaged his hands. He had beautiful fingers.

"If only my fellow Slytherins could see me now," Draco said to me.

"They would laugh their arses off." I said. He snorted in an undignified way.

"Their precious Draco Malfoy in a cramped broom closet, divested of half of his clothing, and shacked up with Ginny Weasley," he agreed.

"Then you can just leave," I said, he gave me a lopsided smile.

We both knew that I was joking. Our relationship that had begun six months earlier was reduced to sneaking around behind my brother and his friend's backs. Not to mention the rest of the school. Death Eater attacks were frequent, and tensions high, especially around those held suspect. There was no need to mention that that included Draco. I knew that Draco was a Death Eater. In the beginning of our relationship I demanded the truth, and would not settle for less. As it was only fair, he knew that my family was in the Order. He and Harry despised each other, not to mention Ron and Hermione especially after his fifth year when Voldemort finally came out. In sixth year there were so many brawls between Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley that I had gotten used to seeing my brother's face disfigured into a bloody mess while Draco walked around with a twin set of features. 

Thinking of his Mark I looked at his forearm. I could already see most of it anyway. Our school robes lay discarded in a corner not far away from us. 

Draco closed his eyes while I massaged the Mark.

"You shouldn't touch it," he said to me.

"I shouldn't do a lot of things," I said to him, looking pointedly at my skirt that had ridden dangerously high and his almost bare chest.

"We can't continue to do this," he said to me. He sighed. "I'm ending it."

I looked up at him. "You're lying," I said softly. I didn't want to joke about not being with him, I didn't even want to talk about it. I turned my head up and kissed him softly.

"I know," he said when it ended. He got up and pulled me up after him. I picked up our clothes and sorted them out. Giving me a last peck he instructed me to meet him by our willow tree near the Forest the following night. I hugged him and left the closet first.

***

I stood behind him just admiring him for as long as I could. Something was wrong. When I saw him earlier his expression was murderous and I cursed the fact that I couldn't ask him what was wrong when there were people present. The only things that gave him this reaction were Death Eater obligations, and Lucius. As much as I liked to pretend that we were perfectly fine in the few moments that were spared us, something seemed serious. I couldn't feign ignorance of our precarious relationship any longer.

"Come sit with me, Virginia," he said. I complied. Teasingly, when I sat down he moved away a bit, but laughing quietly I pulled him closer but turned sideways so that he was sitting in front of me. He moved back and then put his silver head on my lap while I played with his hair. Then he closed his eyes. I closed mine also, my fingers knew the path well enough that my eyes didn't need to guide them. 

It was a cool night out, but not cold. The grass was already dewy from the rain that day.

I opened my eyes and let my fingers trace along his forehead. Back and forth…until I let them dip onto his nose, and then I laughed when he wrinkled it.

"That tickles," he said quietly, eyes still shut. The tips of my fingers went down even more until they were walking along his lips. I sighed and then he opened his eyes.

"What?" he asked, even though he knew what I would say.

"I wish we could always be like this." His eyes clouded over with the same desire.

"I know," he said hoarsely. I glanced into his orbs.

"You're tired," I noted. He looked genuinely weary. However, the lines branching out from the corners of his eyes weren't there yesterday.

It was his turn to sigh. "I met with Lucius in the fire earlier." My heart clenched. There was an unspoken agreement that we wouldn't mention our families unless it was dire.

"And?" I said, trying to seem unconcerned.

"He knows…about us. He's known for a long time he says," Draco said to me. My hands froze in their excursion.

"And?" I said again. 

"He says…he says he won't hurt you. He won't even punish me. He's…he's letting me decide what to do."

I took up my former habit of plotting my course along his features. I thought that my touch could make him change his mind; I knew his decision. I thought I could sway him.

I wouldn't say anything, I'd just let him feel my fingers, my touch. And I would let him decide if he wanted to make this choice knowing that he would never feel it again.

"Virginia…" he was upset. "It has to end." I took my hands away and then moved away from him, letting his head drop on the ground. And I looked at my hands as if they were broken. My ploy hadn't worked.

"Virginia…"

"Don't say my name!" I screamed.

He wasn't hurt; he understood. "It has to end," he said quietly. "Virginia…please…" he sounded so sad.

"Shut up!" I screamed.

I didn't want to hear his lies tainting his voice. "If we tried…if we _really_ tried…" I said, "We could go on."

"He caught us already," said Draco reasonably.

"I don't care!" I said. He moved toward me; I moved away.

"They might go after your family!" He said angrily. "They might go after you!"

"You might end up in Azkaban!" I cried. "You might…they could…you will die if you go to them, Draco," I said coldly.

"If I ended up in Azkaban, the only thoughts I would have were of you. It wouldn't be so bad, it wouldn't be a change from now," he said sweetly. He didn't mention death.

We didn't say anything for awhile. "Do you love me?" I asked him ruthlessly.

Draco was silent for a bit. I know that he was torn between telling me the truth or telling me what would be good for the both of us; what would push me away.

"No."

"You're lying," I shot back.

"I know," he said. Tears sprung up in my eyes. 

"Kiss me."

I crawled near to him and leaned over until our lips were touching. His thumb traced patterns on my cheek, wiping away fat tears even though just as soon they came back. We stopped for a second and he brought me down next to him, wrapping his arms around me under his cloak. I didn't waste time being gentle, nor did he. We grabbed at each other in desperate ways. I nibbled his lip before moving to his collar-bone.

"Will you forget this?" I whispered cruelly, kissing him gently on his neck. I flicked my tongue out and he gasped a little. "Will you?" I repeated. He brought our faces together so that I could look him in the eyes. A tear ran down the side of my face – but it wasn't mine. 

"Never," Draco said. He kissed me again, gentler this time. He cupped my cheek and I ran my fingers under his cloak, memorizing everything that one possibly could. We fumbled with each other's clothing. It was a mess of fingers, and hands, and jumpers, kisses and tears; it was beautiful.

We kissed until I couldn't take it anymore. 

"Draco," I whispered, unbuttoning the next to last button on his shirt. I molded myself into each him, still kissing him. I was almost delirious with wanting. I gave up on the shirt and settled for trying to unbutton mine. Breathing heavily he grabbed my hands.

"Don't," he said huskily. 

I didn't understand. "I want to…"

"No," he said, although his dark eyes told me that he was fighting himself. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "I want you to save this part of yourself, keep it for you," he said gently.

There was no one I would rather make love to for the first time, but he was saying no.

"Don't think that I don't want to," Draco said, laughing a little. His hair was mussed up and in all directions. "But one day…one day you might, find someone else who you can spend the rest of your life with. And you can give that gift to him. At least I'll know that…that you wanted me to be the first," he finished.

"No," I protested. He was quiet, but he held me tighter.

"Then let's imagine what it's going to be like when we finally are together," Draco said before kissing me again. We listened to the crickets roaming around. The owls were hooting in the trees in the Forest.

"We'll have a big bed," I said throatily, but smiling. He laughed a little.

"And there'll be lots of candles, surrounding us," he continued.

"And we won't ever have to leave each other," I finished, beginning to cry again. Our lips met and didn't leave each other for a while. 

"I love you," I managed to whisper some time later. "Tell me that this is all a lie, Draco. Tell me that we can still be together."

He wouldn't say what I wanted to hear, all he told me was that he loved me, although that was just as good.

***

I went through the day in a sort of haze. I wasn't out of it; it just seemed that all of my senses were tuned into Draco. 'Find Draco,' they said. 'Search for him in that clump of seventh-years leaving Charms.' Or, 'What about in that horde of people trying to enter the Great Hall for lunch.'

They had been wrong all morning – my senses, I mean. He wasn't in the clump leaving for Charms – or maybe he was. If he wanted me to see him, he would show himself, and until then no amount of searching would procure him. 

I laughed to myself as I thought about that, surrounded by my brother's friends. I used to think that I was attuned to him. That even if he wanted to hide from me, I would find him; even if I wasn't searching. And now that I was trying with all of my heart to locate him through the blur of brunettes and raven haired students, I had no idea where he was. 

My luck changed then. I saw him from a mile away; his eyes were focused on mine. 

Remember to breathe…

He ignored Harry, Ron and Hermione. I was the one he was looking for. We all stood still.

"Hello, Weas –" He stopped, that wasn't who I was to him. "Hello, Virginia," he said instead. My eyes closed briefly. I loved the way he said my name, but I said nothing.

"Can't talk?" he sneered at me. He was trying to end it, but I didn't say anything. I refused to help him do this to us. I still saw his lovely smile hidden underneath. 

'Please don't do this, please don't do this, please don't do this…' I thought.

"Please…" I said. His eyes widened just for a second, he stood stock still. The façade was slipping away. 

I trembled. I wouldn't cry while there might still be hope. 

"Please…" He clenched his fists at my attempts to end this war in my favor. I clenched mine, there was still hope; the sun was shining outside.

He turned his head violently to the side so as not to look at me. A gesture that told others that he was disgusted with me, but I knew that he was afraid of what would happen if he looked at me for too long. 

"Don't do this," I said. He looked at me again. He swallowed and his eyes hardened.

"'Don't do this'," said Draco mocking me. "You're begging…" 

He was furious because I wouldn't help him finish us. He began insulting me, insulting my family, insulting my non-existent worship of Harry. It was worse than ever.

But I wouldn't listen to his lies.

People began to stop en route to the Great Hall to watch him. Draco appeared to have gone mad. He was gesticulating wildly, thrashing, like a moth trying to escape from the flame that it was drawn to. Even though it knew it couldn't. 

He was tripping over his hateful words. But inside of them I could hear him telling our story.

Only I heard the true fury inside of the meaningless words. His anger with me that I just wouldn't let go, and that he didn't want to either.

The shame and powerlessness he felt for succumbing to his father. 

'Fight it,' I told him silently. I pleaded with all the strength I possessed inside of me. He was still looking at me. Silently I told him that we could get past this. 

He stumbled in his torrent; his voice was hoarse with emotion. He gasped for air as if he couldn't breathe. But he wouldn't stop.

Encased in his monologue were his cries for freedom, his anguish. His whispers to me at twilight by the lake under his cloak. I heard him telling me he loved me last night, telling me ideas for our future that would never come to fruition.

And when he stopped insulting me, heralding my overall worthlessness to the world and scorning my name, his breathing was ragged. He hung his head.

'Look at me,' I thought.

"Look at me," I said. He did. 

I saw our eternity together flash before my eyes and disappear with the shuttering of his too tired lids.

"I hate you," he breathed quietly.

"I love you," he meant to say, he wanted to say.

He stumbled blindly away.

I stood there looking at the beautiful, ethereal light shining through the windows. 

It was all a lie.

That's when I cried. 

I fell to the ground. I had no idea which way was up. 

The Trio comforted me for all the wrong reasons. 

And I continued to weep. Because we were both walking away from something that I wouldn't ever get over, and neither would he. And because I heard his love in his lies, but I would never hear it again.


End file.
